The ''Hell's Kitchen'' season finale: We have a winner!

Entertainment Weekly - USA - I know. OMG, the shock.

For a show that started the season so strong, the conclusion of Hell's Kitchen really fizzled, didn't it, gumballs? Of course, it lost a lot of momentum last week by drawing out the finale preparations for a seemingly endless, empty hour — but despite tonight's early announcement that one finalist's life was about to change forever, I found myself uninspired.

So what was bringing me down? Let's start with how we were once again deprived of what has been my favorite part of this show's last episodes: the construction of the dining rooms. Sure, there was a little hoo-ha involving Bonnie's side running out of wallpaper or whatever — but in the end, no matter how much the narrator tried to pit this as ''Bonnie's neighborhood hideaway versus Rock's home-style bistro,'' I couldn't help thinking it was more like ''Bonnie's side of the restaurant that looks almost exactly like it did before versus Rock's side of the restaurant that does look exactly like it did before, except purple.'' Maybe Fox skimped on that portion of the story line precisely because the cheflings had such uninspiring visions for their space. But when Ramsay was assessing Bonnie's room, especially, the whole thing mostly reminded me of those sleep-deprived mornings in design class back at theater school when I'd haul in whatever was on my kitchen table, arrange it artfully, and then agree with whatever the teacher suggested I might be going for. ''It's a neighborhood restaurant, but with a little panache!'' Ramsay told Bonnie. ''That's exactly what I was going for!'' Bonnie replied. Snore.

Also dull: the menus. Blondie whipped out more goat-cheese salads and yet another ''signature'' pasta (this time featuring prawns, which I guess is sort of like if a lobster married a shrimp, thus taking last week's ''signature'' pasta and cutting the workload in half), while Rock brought his chicken 'n' crab cakes app and a rib eye. Neither was interesting to look at, neither made my mouth water. I was especially frightened by the desserts. When Chef Ramsay basically enjoyed both contestants' offerings, I'm pretty sure at least half my brain started thinking about what sneakers I'd like to wear tomorrow.