Recorder - New Britain, CT, USA - I have listened to or watched every single
Dane Cook album, DVD, movie and television special. After hours upon hours of listening to this supposed ‘comedian,’ I have come to an obvious conclusion: The man simply does not live up to the expectations set by his record sales, fans and hype. I realize how loyal the
Dane Cook nation is, and I hope that the Cook masses can refrain from physical retribution. Verbal and literary reprisal is acceptable (and encouraged), but I’m not looking for a fist fight.
After much thought and observation I have composed a list of the five most significant downfalls in Cook’s act:
1. He has yet to tell an actual joke: Cook’s sets are nothing more than him rambling on about nothing, making base and idiotic noises, yelling into the microphone and falling on the floor. At no point in his show is there a setup, then delivery, then punch line. I’m not saying every comedian should conform to a rigid standard for joke structure; I love experimentation and daring choices. The problem is Cook does nothing new in the realm of comedy — he simply babbles on like an amateur. He advertises and sells himself as a comedian, not a drunken storyteller. Comedians can tell stories in their sets, but they need to be structured and trimmed. Cook’s stories do not become jokes; they are observations without humor or conclusions. The standard
Dane Cook “joke” contains three “F-bombs,” an obscene gesture, him squatting or falling down and a loud interjection. That’s not a joke; it’s a clown’s act.
2. Length does not equal quality: Simply dragging a story or idea out for 15 minutes does not make it a story worth telling. It gets boring, complicated and obnoxious. Yes, he does get the occasional laugh, even one or two out of me. The problem is that those laughs come 20 minutes apart from each other; that one minute of laughing does not make up for the 59 minutes of listening to the man’s inane yammering. He needs to stop repeating himself, cut some of the fat from the set and tighten up his game. If he must do repetition, he should at least do it correctly. For an expert use of it, listen to Beyond the Pale by
Jim Gaffigan. He spends over 20 minutes on food and cake, and it’s wildly successful. Why is this so? Because he has punch lines and organization. Cook should take some notes. And while he’s writing, he should think of something truly funny, ironic or insightful. His observations on society and life are simplistic and egotistical. He has to come up with material that is not the equivalent of the ramblings of a drunken frat boy.
