Geezers age but never grow old

New York Daily News - New York, NY, USA - Sure enough, it's a good time to be alive these days, especially if you're a geezer. Listen folks, it's not bad being a young shaver either, but the geezer - ah, the geezer - has it really going for him today.

I'm sure you've been reading how the 80 of old is the new 60. They're riddling us with this new perspective in every part of the media. It's like if you've just turned 60, you're actually 40. That's what they've been selling us and I, for one, choose to believe it.

Two weeks ago, Barbara Walters hosted a special on ABC, and without even cracking a smile told us most everybody will be living beyond 100 years and possibly reaching 150 before long. Maybe so, but this number would shock even Willard Scott, the man who puts the pictures of the over-100s on a jar of jelly.

Backing up some of Barbara's claims are people such as Buster Martin, a 101-year-old marathon runner who walks as straight as a West Point cadet, still works out in a boxing gym and is part of a seniors rock 'n' roll group called the Zimmers.

This sharp-witted geezer tells you, "Hell, I'm just running a marathon and you're never too old to do what you enjoy."

He adds, "The only thing I like better than running is my beer." Not that you should do it, but he also smokes, too. One weekend he completed a 13-mile half marathon in a little more than five hours. He'll tell you it would've been faster if he hadn't stopped for a beer and a cigarette.

Everything has always worked for this young fella, and the fact that he has fathered 17 children attests that he purrs merrily along like a well-oiled engine.

Then there's comedian Professor Irwin Corey, a mere youngster of 93 who's still telling jokes and spinning yarns for pay at comic clubs. Like all true vaudevillians, the spotlight shining on him is like a cozy, warm blanket.

Yesterday I learned that Mike Wallace, one of the best interviewers TV has ever produced, will be 90 in a matter of days. He's a great geezer and, according to the new Barbara Walters math, Mike's 90 makes him 65. By the same token, shave Andy Rooney's age to 62.

I want to tell you young folks that after a while you won't give a hoot about how old you are. You'll only be concerned that you're feeling good, scrappy and enthusiastic about your work. Also that you can still tie and untie your shoelaces without getting them knotted.